So, you want to go to Central America?

Should you choose to travel to Latin America, dear reader, I have some advice.

Don't be Isolde.

Having been in the country for all of two weeks, unfortunate Isolde has (1) been pick-pocketed on a chicken bus, (2) gotten a lecture from her Spanish instructor on the ills of American foreign policy -- the guy hauled out a photo of G.W. -- and now (3) has come down with dysentery. That's right. Dysentery.

I know what you're thinking. Dysentery -- like slavery and Presidential box seats at the theatre -- disappeared shortly after the Civil War. But no. Dysentery's still alive and kicking. He's just moved on to a warmer clime, where life and property is cheap and hands go unwashed.

A little refresher for those of you unfamiliar with Isolde's new traveling companion. Dysentery is the drunken, knife-fighting cousin of your old acquaintance diarrhea. Remember him from that long bus ride you spent together in elementary school? Well, dysentery is him with blood. Sorry for sharing.

Lucky for us, our language school is attached to a clinic where the medical Spanish students volunteer their time. So Isolde got a free visit with el doctor and free Cipro. She's also having some lab work done. For about $4, Isolde got to provide the laboratory a ... er ... sample in an old Nescafe jar. Not the "world's most popular coffee" anymore. We're hopping she doesn't have amoebas, which are a bit tougher to treat than bacteria that the Cipro would kill.

Other than all of this, we're doing great. The Spanish is coming along well, aside from the flashbacks to my Junior year of high school.